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Mulla Nasruddin Short Jokes Collection - Part 14

1. "You ought to stand on your two feet and show your wife who is running things at your house,"
a big, bossy fellow said to his friend, Mulla Nasrudin. "THERE IS NO NEED TO," said Nasrudin,
"SHE ALREADY KNOWS."



2. The stranger was talking in the tavern. "For fifteen years," he said, "my habits were as regular
as clockwork. I rose exactly at six. Half an hour later I was at breakfast. At seven I was at
work. I had lunch at one, and supper at six, and was in bed at nine-thirty. I ate only plain food,
and didn't have a day of sickness during all those years." "MY," said Mulla Nasrudin who was
listening to the story, "AND WHAT WERE YOU IN JAIL FOR?"


3. Mulla Nasrudin had been arrested for stealing a hog. The trial was short and sweet. There was
no concrete evidence against the Mulla and the judge dismissed the case against him. But for
some reason the Mulla seemed not to understand. "The case is dismissed," the judge said, "It is
over. You are acquitted. You can go." "WELL, THANKS, JUDGE," said Nasrudin. "BUT DO I HAVE
TO GIVE HIM BACK HIS HOG?"



4.Mulla Nasrudin kept begging the noted pianist to play. "Well, all right, since you insist," he said.
"What shall I play?" "ANYTHING YOU LIKE," said Nasrudin. "IT'S ONLY TO ANNOY THE
NEIGHBOURS."



5. Mulla Nasrudin's wife used to give the Mulla a regular inspection every night when he came
home. Every hair she discovered on his coat would be cause for a terrible scene. One evening,
when she didn't find a single hair, she screamed at him, "NOW YOU ARE EVEN RUNNING AFTER
BALD-HEADED WOMEN."


6. Mulla Nasrudin was introduced as the man who had just made $800,000 in an oil deal in
Oklahoma. In response, the Mulla said, "IT WAS NOT AN OIL DEAL, IT WAS A REAL ESTATE
DEAL. IT WAS NOT IN OKLAHOMA, BUT IN VIRGINIA. I AM SORRY, BUT THE MAN HAD HIS
FIGURES MIXED UP. IT WAS NOT $800,000, BUT $800. AND BESIDES THAT, IT WAS NOT A
PROFIT, BUT A LOSS. AND, IN THE END, IF YOU DON'T MIND, LET ME TELL YOU, THAT I AM
NOT THE MAN CONCERNED, SIR."


7. Mulla Nasrudin, the landlord of a rather rundown rooming house, had led a prospective tenant
to a third-floor room with badly spotted wall paper. Nasrudin: "The last man who lived in this
room was an inventor he invented some sort of explosive." Prospect: "Oh, these spots on the
walls are chemicals?" Nasrudin: "NO, THE INVENTOR."


8. Mulla Nasrudin was called in the election bribery case. "You say," asked the judge, "that you
were given $10 to vote for the Democrats, and you got another $10 to vote for the
republicans?" "Yes, Sir, Your Honour," said the Mulla. "And how did you vote?" asked the judge.
"YOUR HONOUR," said Nasrudin, "I VOTED ACCORDING TO MY CONSCIENCE."



9. Mulla Nasrudin's wife was upset and was confiding in her maid. "Do you know," she said, "I
suspect my husband is having an affair with the cook." "OH," cried the maid. "YOU CAN'T
BELIEVE THAT. YOU ARE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME JEALOUS."



10. "You sure do look downhearted, Mulla? What's the matter?" asked a friend. "It's my future that
worries me," said Nasrudin. "What makes your future so black?" the friend asked. "MY PAST,"
replied Nasrudin.


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