Microsoft Windows in Hindi

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )
Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?

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Software Engineers

There is this good ol' barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. When he is about to pay the barber, the latter replies: 'I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting at his doorstep.

This event is repeated till an Indian software engineer goes for a haircut. When he pays him, the barber tells him, 'I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The next morning, when the barber opens his shop, he finds a dozen Indians waiting for a free haircut.

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Sardar's Y2K Solution

Report submitted by Banta Singh to his manager after completing his Y2K
verification task.

Dear Sir,
Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on
budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data
files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to
report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs
and all data to reflect your new standards:Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of
this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help
in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to
do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We'll await your direction."

Very Sincerely
Banta Singh
Y2K Project Leader

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Hotel California - Desi Style

    On a dark crowded highway
    brylcreem in my hair
    warm smell of parathas
    rising up through the air

    Up ahead in the distance
    I saw a shimmering light
    my eyes grew dim and my head grew light
    I had to stop for the night

    There they stood in the doorway
    they were desis you could tell
    I got out fearfully
    saying this will surely be hell

    All around us were buildings
    Sun, SGI and Dell
    I slowly unloaded my things
    In the shadows of Intel

    And still those parking lots were full of Hondas
    waiting up in the middle of the night
    to be driven home by programers

    Welcome to the town of Sunnyvale
    such a desi place, such a crazy place
    we're livin' it up in the town of Sunnyvale
   such a nice surprise, so many people with no lives

    My heartstrings were twisted
    I wanted to feel at home
    where thousands of desis existed
    and no white man dared roam

    Sambar stains on the ceilings
    mango lassis on ice
    sit and watch the paint peeling
    or make daal and boil rice

    But my mind revolted
    at the very thought
    I grabbed my bag and bolted
    I'd escape no matter what

    And still those voices are calling from far away
    wake you up in the middle of the night
    I can hear them say

    Welcome to the town of Sunnyvale
    such a desi place, such a crazy place
    we're livin' it up in the town of Sunnyvale
    such a nice surprise, so many people with no lives

    I wake up in a cold sweat thank god it was a dream,
    there is no need to fret.
    I still live in the Marin.
    Oh, I still live in Marin.

    written by Jai Natarajan

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Read more: Hotel California - Desi Style

Sholay and Body Shopping

After giving up 'goondagiri', Veeru has now joined an Indian body shopper and has become a Computer Consultant. Jay goes to Mausi for 'Basanti kaa haath mangane'..........

MAUSI: Bura nahin maanna beta, itna to poochna hi padtha hai ki ladke ka khandaan kya hai, uske lakshan kaise hain, kamaata kitna hai, US me masters kiya he...
AMITABH: kamaane ka to ye hai mausi, ki ek baar biwi baccho ki jimmewari sar pe aa gai, to consultant ka kaam chod kar regular employee hoga aur phir kamaane bhi lagega.


MAUSI: to kya abhi kucch bhi nahin kamaata?
AMITABH: nai, nai, ye maine kab kahaa mausi. kamaata hai lekin, ab roj roj to 'client' mil nahi sakta na, kabhi kabhi "BENCH" per baith jaata hai bechara.
MAUSI: BENCH pe bhi aana jana hai?
AMITABH: haan mausi, ab ye kambakht Computer Consultancy cheej hi aisi hai. Aur bench par to bade bade log jeseke Bill Gates, Andrew Grove, Larry Ellison bhi betha karte the.
MAUSI: to kya programmer hai?
AMITABH: chee, chi, chi, chee, chee! wo aur programmer? NAA! NAA!! wo to bahut hi acchhaa aur nek ladka hai, lekin waise ek baar kisi desi body shopper ke haat lag jaye na phir 'language/RDBMS/QA' ka kahaan hosh rahta hai! haath pakad ke 'IDMS' ya 'QA'karvaane bithadiya desi ne, ab isme bechaare Veeru ka kya dosh.
MAUSI: theek kahte ho beta, programmer woh, DBA woh, DESI ke paas kaam karta hai woh, lekin uska koi dosh nahin.
AMITABH: mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahen hai, wo to itna seedha aur bhola hai, arey Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye, ye 'programming', 'DBA' aur 'client ke paas jane ki aadat' to do din main chhoot jayegi.
MAUSI: arey beta is budhiya ko samjha rahe ho! apne COMPUTER CONSULTANTS ko chod dene ki aadat kisi body shopper ki chhooti hai aaj tak?
AMITABH: mausi aap Veeru ko nahin jaanti, biswaas kijiye wo is tarah ka insaan nahin hai. ek baar shaadi ho gai to wo 'PAGER' bhi rakhna band kar dega, bas PROGRAMMING apne aap chhoot jayegi.
MAUSI: hai raam, bas yehi ek kami baaki rah gai thi, to kya PAGER bhi rakhta hai?
AMITABH: to usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi, arey PAGER to PRESIDENT,VP, CEO aur unchey-unchey log rakhte hai haan.
MAUSI: accha! to beta ye bhi batate jaao ki tumhare ye gunwaan dost assal me kis company ke employee hai?
AMITABH: bas mausi, hum 'trace' kar rahe hai, original HI milte hi company ka pata chal jayega aur hum aapko khabar de denge.
MAUSI: ek baat ki daad dungi beta, bhale sow buraiyaan hon tumhare dost main, phir bhi tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.
AMITABH: kya karoon mausi, hum body shoppers log hi kucch aise hai. to ye rista pakka samjhoon.
MAUSI: pakka! bhale saari jindagi ladki kuwaari baithi rahe,lekin aise aadmi se Basanti ko nahin byahne waali, sagi mausi hoon koi sauteli maan nahin.
AMITABH: ajeeeeb baaat hai, mere itne samjhaane par bhi aapne inkaar kar diya, bechaara Veeru, na jaane ab agla client kaha milega!!

Read more: Sholay and Body Shopping